Nikki Glaser takes on the Golden Globes

“Once you’re a white, pasty woman, you get a twig tan, everybody’s nicer to you!” stated Nikki Glaser throughout her standup act. “They assume, like, you’ve got been on trip, they assume issues are going nicely in your life. And so they’re not; you’ve got simply stood bare in entrance of an adolescent. … And in the course of her spraying me, like, seeing my butt, she goes, ‘I am such a fan!'”

Glaser thought she had her January all deliberate out: “So, for January 2025, I used to be going to probably have, like, a forehead carry or some sort of, like, actually invasive surgical procedure that I have been, you realize, trying into getting.”

The sort of process the place you must disappear from the general public for some time, after which re-emerge. However then, she received a telephone name from TWO of her brokers: “And when it is two, you realize it is excellent news, as a result of when it is unhealthy information, they only make one particular person do it, ‘trigger nobody needs to do this! And so they’re like, ‘So, this operation, is there any manner you could possibly push it ’til possibly the second week of January?'”

That is as a result of on January 5, Glaser is internet hosting the Golden Globes on CBS – simply one other massive gig in a yr that is been stuffed with them.

Her 2024 particular, “Sometime You may Die,” was nominated for an Emmy, a Grammy and a Golden Globe.  

“It is easy to be a nasty mother; that is really easy. However to be a very good mother is tough. To be a nasty mother, that is as simple as being an excellent dad.”

But it surely’s the particular’s theme track that Glaser wrote that she’s most pleased with: “Truthfully, it could be, like, one of many issues I am most pleased with in my whole life.”

“It could not be extra totally different than joke writing, proper, when it comes to the vulnerability?” I requested.

“Sure, sure, as a result of every little thing with joking is, like, I get weak, then I lower it with, like, some sort of line that is like, ‘I am simply kidding.’ I used to be speaking about my melancholy, however we’re all not gonna get emotional right here. There’s simply one thing so embarrassing about being emotional for me. So, I feel I simply should reframe it as like, ‘You’ll be able to’t do it, Nikki. It is too onerous,’ and I will be like, ‘Sure, I can.'”

Glaser made her title in celeb roasts with a searing joke type, deadpanning at her personal expense and the expense of others, jokes we principally cannot play for you on community TV – all of which got here in helpful earlier this yr when she roasted NFL nice Tom Brady reside on Netflix.

“Tom additionally misplaced $30 million in crypto. Tom, how did you fall for that? I imply, even Gronk was like, ‘Me know that not actual cash.'”

Glaser says, although she’s principally achieved with roasts, she really requested Netflix for the job: “I used to be like, ‘Inform Tom Brady I am the Tom Brady of roasting.’ It is flattery, however it’s additionally true. I meant it. I actually really feel like Tom Brady is a man that labored onerous sufficient to grow to be how nice he’s.”

The identical might be stated about Glaser … and the Golden Globes will likely be her greatest viewers thus far. “I am gonna nail it,” she stated. “Perhaps I will not nail it in some folks’s eyes, however I’ll have nailed it in my eyes as a result of I’ve arrange a system main as much as it that I could not probably work more durable on it.”

Extra on that system later … as a result of confidence will not be one thing that is at all times come simple to Glaser.

She’s talked about struggles with self-medicating, consuming issues, and alcoholism. “I drank each single night time of my life and it was, like, the one factor I regarded ahead to in my life,” she stated. “For me, ingesting was the worst of all of them. And it has been sort of whack-a-mole with all of these. However these have by no means brought about me as a lot ache as ingesting did. So, I am glad that ingesting is simply not an choice.”

I stated, “In restoration they discuss this factor known as, like, the ‘dis-ease’ – simply this type of common state of not being relaxed.”

“Sure,” Glaser stated. “The obsession with work is, like, simply not eager to really feel.”

Will the strain of internet hosting the Globes get to Glaser? She says she hopes it does. “I thrive on nervousness,” she stated. “I like feeling like, ‘Oh, what’s gonna occur?’ I like that feeling. I kill it once I’m anxious.”

Glaser’s “system,” which she first developed for the Brady roast, is working with a crew of writers that features Sean O’Conner, Jessica Dweck, and Glaser’s longtime boyfriend and collaborator, Chris Convy.

These jokes they arrive up are then examined time and again, each on the highway and in small L.A. golf equipment, to see what actual audiences assume.

“I did have a bunch of Ozempic jokes that I used to be gonna inform, however I misplaced them. The pure manner, I swear! I simply lower out soda.”

The Golden Globes viewers will resolve on January fifth if all this preparation by Glaser has paid off. However she says, in a sure manner, she’s already engaged on her subsequent venture, an off-stage one at that.

“I feel my new problem is, I wanna be identified for being a pleasant celeb,” Glaser stated. “I simply wanna be somebody that individuals go, ‘Oh, she’s actually nice to work with. She was very nice to us,’ and never in an inauthentic manner.”

“You wanna unfold kindness to folks whilst you’re eviscerating their whole existence in your periphery?” I requested.

“That is the paradox of it,” she stated. “I wanna unfold honesty.”

Do not miss the 82nd annual Golden Globes ceremony reside on January 5 at 8 p.m. ET/5 p.m. PT on CBS and Paramount+.

       
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Story produced by Anthony Laudato. Editor: Lauren Barnello.