Al-Shifa was a dream and a nightmare

After I began finding out nursing at Al Azhar College, I knew I wished to work at al-Shifa Hospital. It was my dream.
It was the largest, most prestigious hospital within the Gaza Strip. A number of the finest docs and nurses in Palestine labored there. Numerous international medical missions would come and supply coaching and care there as properly.
Many individuals from the north to the south of the Gaza Strip sought medical assist at al-Shifa. The identify of the hospital means “therapeutic” in Arabic and certainly, it was a spot of therapeutic for the Palestinians of Gaza.
In 2020, I graduated from nursing faculty and tried to discover a job within the personal sector. After a number of short-term jobs, I obtained into al-Shifa as a volunteer nurse.
I beloved my job on the emergency division very a lot. I went to work with ardour and optimistic power day by day. I might meet sufferers with a large smile, hoping to alleviate a few of their ache. I at all times beloved to listen to sufferers’ prayers for me in gratitude.
Within the emergency division, we have been 80 nurses in whole – each ladies and men – and we have been all associates. In truth, a few of my closest associates have been colleagues on the hospital. Alaa was considered one of them. We did shifts collectively and went out for espresso outdoors of labor. She was a gorgeous woman who was very form and beloved by everybody.
It was such friendships and the comradery among the many employees that helped me pull by means of when the struggle began.
From the very first day, the hospital grew to become overwhelmed with casualties. After my first shift ended that day, I stayed within the nurses’ room crying for an hour over every thing we had been by means of and all of the injured folks I had seen struggling.
Inside days there have been greater than a thousand wounded and martyrs within the hospital. The extra folks have been introduced in, the more durable we labored, attempting to avoid wasting lives.
I by no means anticipated that this horror would final for greater than a month. Nevertheless it did.
Quickly, the Israeli military known as my household and advised us that we would have liked to depart our dwelling in Gaza Metropolis. I confronted a troublesome alternative: to be with my household on this horrific time or to be with the sufferers who wanted me probably the most. I made a decision to remain.

I bid farewell to my household who fled south to Rafah and I stayed behind in al-Shifa Hospital, which grew to become my second dwelling. Alaa stayed behind as properly. We supported and comforted one another.
In early November, the Israeli military advised us to evacuate the hospital and laid a siege to it. Our medical provides began to dwindle. We have been rapidly working out of gas for our electrical energy turbines that have been holding life-saving tools going.
Maybe probably the most heartbreaking second was once we ran out of gas and oxygen and we might not preserve the untimely infants we had in our care within the incubators. We needed to relocate them to an working room the place we tried to maintain them heat. They have been struggling to breathe and we had no oxygen to assist them. We misplaced eight harmless infants. I keep in mind sitting and crying for a very long time that day for these harmless souls.
Then on November 15, Israeli troopers stormed the complicated. The assault got here as a shock. As a medical facility, it was imagined to be protected below worldwide regulation, however that clearly didn’t cease the Israeli military.
Simply earlier than the raid, our administration advised us that they’d acquired a name that the Israelis have been about to storm the medical complicated. We rapidly closed the gate of the emergency division and gathered inside across the nursing desk in the midst of it, not understanding what to do. The subsequent day, we noticed Israeli troopers surrounding the constructing. We couldn’t depart and we have been working out of medical provides. We struggled to offer therapy to the sufferers we had with us.

We had no meals or water left. I keep in mind feeling dizzy and nearly fainting. I had not eaten something for 3 days. We misplaced some sufferers due to the siege and the Israeli raid.
On November 18, Dr Mohammad Abu Salmiya, al-Shifa’s director, got here to inform us that the Israelis had ordered the entire medical complicated to be evacuated. If I had a alternative, I might have stayed, however the Israeli military didn’t depart me one.
Tons of of us, docs and nurses, have been compelled to depart, together with many sufferers. Solely about two dozen employees stayed behind with bed-ridden sufferers who couldn’t be moved. Dr Abu Salmiya additionally stayed behind and was arrested a number of days later. He disappeared for the subsequent seven months.
I, together with dozens of colleagues head south per Israeli orders. Alaa and some others defied these orders and headed north to their households. We walked for a lot of kilometres and handed Israeli checkpoints, the place we have been made to attend for hours, till we have been capable of finding a donkey cart that might transport us a number of the means.
After we lastly arrived in Rafah, I used to be past pleased to see my household. There was lots of crying and reduction. However the happiness of being with my household was quickly overshadowed by surprising information.
Alaa was in a position to return to her household in Beit Lahiya, who had been displaced in a college shelter. However when she and her brother went to their deserted home to retrieve some belongings, an Israeli missile hit the constructing they usually have been martyred.
The information of her loss of life got here as an infinite shock. A yr later, I nonetheless reside with the ache of shedding my shut buddy – one of many sweetest folks I had ever identified who beloved to assist others and who was at all times there to consolation me in troublesome moments.

In March, Israeli troopers returned to al-Shifa. For 2 weeks, they rampaged by means of the hospital, forsaking loss of life and devastation. Not a constructing was left within the medical complicated that was not broken or burned down. From a spot of therapeutic, al-Shifa was reworked right into a graveyard.
I have no idea how I’ll really feel after I see the hospital once more. How will I really feel understanding that the place of my finest skilled achievements and dearest moments shared with colleagues additionally grew to become a spot of loss of life, compelled disappearances and displacement?
As we speak, greater than a yr after I misplaced my office, I reside in a tent and take care of the unwell in a makeshift clinic. My future, our future is unsure. However within the new yr, I’ve a dream: to see al-Shifa because it was once – grand and delightful.
The views expressed on this article are the creator’s personal and don’t essentially mirror Al Jazeera’s editorial stance.