Unique| Sajid Khan: I’ve considered ending my life many instances within the final six years
He was taking pictures for Housefull 4 in 2018 when sexual harassment allegations by a number of ladies upturned his life. The storm of accusations — together with claims of undesirable advances and harassment — upended his profession, with work vanishing in a single day. Sajid Khan, 54, grew to become an accused within the #MeToo motion in Bollywood — known as out, ridiculed and vilified. For six years, he selected silence. Till now. With trepidation in his voice, he recounts the toll the previous years have taken on him, each mentally and bodily.
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How has life been for you over the past six years, because the #MeToo allegations?
I considered ending my life many instances within the final 6 years. It’s been extraordinarily unhealthy, within the sense that I’ve been out of labor. Regardless of getting a clearance from Indian Movie and Tv Administrators Affiliation (IFTDA). I’m attempting to get again on my ft. I needed to promote my home and transfer to a rented flat due to no earnings. I used to be 14 after I began incomes as a result of my dad (actor, producer, and director, Kamran Khan) handed away, leaving me and (my sister) Farah (Khan Kunder, filmmaker and choreographer) with money owed. Right this moment, I want my mum was alive (Menaka Irani died in 2024) to see me attempt to get again on my ft. Greater than her son, I used to be her caretaker. Life has been fairly robust.
You’ve talked about your blunt character and its influence in your profession. Do you suppose it contributed to the best way issues unfolded?
Wanting again, sure. Now everyone does it on YouTube, however early on in my profession, I used to say sensational issues simply to make headlines. After I labored on TV, my job was to entertain folks. I used to rub many the unsuitable method…After I see a few of my interviews at this time, I really feel like taking a time machine again and stopping that man — saying, ‘Fool, what are you speaking about? Why are you so brash?’ Phrases don’t matter; work does. As a result of I used to be so brash, I rubbed folks the unsuitable method. I might apologise every time I realised it, however when work stops, you begin questioning your life. I’ve mellowed down. I simply need to work to outlive now.
How did you course of the allegations and the trial that adopted?
I left Housefull 4 as a result of I didn’t need the dates to get shuffled. The producer, Sajid Nadiadwala, had put up a giant set with 10–15 busy actors. Altering dates would’ve disrupted the movie for years. Mine was a trial by media, very one-sided. What does a person work for? Respect. When that’s taken away, your self-respect comes into doubt. I used to be recognized for my offensive humour — I believed offence was the most effective defence. However I’ve realized the onerous method. I by no means disrespected ladies, and I by no means will. My mom raised me to imagine in gender equality. I didn’t realise my phrases would make me pay such an enormous worth.
How did your loved ones react to the allegations?
Ten days earlier than it occurred, I used to be taking pictures in Jaisalmer, Rajasthan, and my mum wasn’t nicely. After I needed to depart the movie, I used to be apprehensive she’d have a coronary heart assault if she discovered. I instructed Farah (sister) to cover the newspapers from her. For 10 days, I pretended every thing was advantageous, leaving the home and coming again as if I’d been on set… I’ve by no means, and can by no means, say something in opposition to any lady. However sure, the final six years have been a interval of self-assessment. Everybody else named within the motion went again to work, however I didn’t. That felt harsh. It made me realise I wanted to alter not simply my life but in addition the best way I spoke to folks. I’m way more restrained now.
Was it troublesome discovering work throughout this time?
Conferences went nicely, however post-Covid, leisure has modified drastically. Finally, it’s about the way you current your self and the energy of your script. I’ve not understood why after so a few years when everybody else has moved on, I’m not being provided that probability. I’ve a movie beginning mid-year now, however there’s no assure of success. That’s the character of the business.
Additionally learn: Sajid Khan on Housefull turning seven: The movie was at least a paid vacation
Why did you select to remain silent all this whereas?
I didn’t need to communicate. My mom instructed me, ‘Silence is golden’. Notion is like mist — it must be cleared.
Your look on Bigg Boss in 2022 was seen by many as an try to whitewash your picture, particularly after you had been suspended by IFTDA in 2018 following sexual harassment allegations in the course of the #MeToo motion. Since being cleared in 2019, what do you must say in regards to the notion that your return to the highlight is an try to reshape your public picture?
I didn’t examine that. I don’t learn detrimental opinions. I started my profession with a success movie, Heyy Child (2007), which paradoxically acquired detrimental opinions. After I ventured into TV, a strong editor went after me, and after the present went off-air, they wrote, ‘Thank God, it was the worst factor to hit TV.’ You’ll be able to’t please everybody on a regular basis. That’s simply the best way life is. Truthfully, there have been moments after I even contemplated suicide.
Did you search remedy throughout these robust instances?
No. I talked myself out of it. Farah is settled and doing nicely, and somebody needed to care for my mum. I’ve all the time been the jester amongst my associates — the one who cheers everybody up. I instructed myself, ‘This could’t be your life’s e-book. It’s only a chapter’.
Your upcoming movie may carry renewed criticism. Are you ready?
Which movie at this time isn’t criticised? Social media thrives on it. If feedback price cash, there’d be fewer of them. I gained’t react. Pompous promotions don’t matter. The viewers decides based mostly on the trailer.
The labels from the #MeToo motion — how do you cope with them now?
They affected me deeply, to the purpose the place I needed to finish my life. However I’ve no animosity in the direction of anybody. Jo kismat mein likha hota hai, woh hota hai. I’ve endured lots. Six years of loss — dropping my mom, my home… She didn’t simply move away on account of sickness. She was additionally weighed down by the psychological stress of worrying about me. I really feel like I let her down in a roundabout way. However now, I simply need to transfer ahead with my life. Some folks cry over sneakers, whereas others don’t even have ft. My job is easy: to entertain folks. That’s all I understand how to do.
